relationships

sometimes i feel like my "relationship" or should i say "relationships" are lost in the blur of every day stuff. cleaning, whos gonna pick up the kids from where, paying the bills etc etc. it is hard to see the bigger picture sometimes and sometimes i wonder what, exactly, the bigger picture is. maybe i am only seeing such a tiny portion of it i cant make it out. who knows.

my porch

even though i am about 3 stories up and above the majority or trees, my porch seems to attract critters. i have birds of all sorts coming for the bird food, strange small geckos, and occasional anole, snakes and now, a squirell (is that how you spell it?) it seems to be coming for the bird food too. i found the bag with a hole chewed in it so i put it in the closet. now it is helping itself to the dish. all things considered, she ( i am guessing the sex here) seems pretty unafraid. i clicked and she came right up to the door to investigate. i am pretty sure she was posing for the pictures. as long as it is only 1, i can handle sharing. if more come, i will have to take action to protect my food supply. it seems that squirrells arent nearly as prolific here as they are in austin so maybe i wont have a problem. the birds seem upset about having to share, though. they are chattering angrily at it.

mr cardinal is singing me a song. a duet with another cardinal somewhere further away. but he is in a tree just off my porch.

good news- maggie will be ok. she was sick at the vet over night for 2 nights but she is coming home today. i am glad. it wouldnt seem right for mum to lose 2 dogs in less than a year. and maggie is still pretty young.

there was something else i wanted to write about but heck if i can remember. it is still early

i have almost saved enough blood money (dinero de sangre?) to go see joe nichols again...

laid

i listened to james laid. i havent had a listen in several years. i still like it. still remember all the words. sometimes i try to use the music to put me in the same frame of mind i had back then, to try to capture some if the emotion but it is hard. to try to recapture an emotion. it is a sudden fleeting thing when i do and the harder i try to hang on the quiker it goes. i am not sure why i am even trying. maybe just to remember. who i was, to see how i have changed. who knows.
but it reminds me of rainy summer nights and lightning and my first apartment. it makes me feel a bit meloncholy in a way. i am an old lady.

i wish life didnt sneak up on me so fast. today is miss m's birthday and we didnt really do anything to celebrate. we are having a party tomorrow at dave and busters but i really feel like we should do SOMETHING on her birthday. she wanted golden corral for dinner so we drove to south lamar for that (mapquest round rock to south lamar in austin and you will understand) but otherwise, nothing really exciting. her brothers baby was born 3 minutes shy of her birthday at 1157 pm on the 14th. nameless baby girl. they are naming her tomorrow, i guess. so now she and julian are aunts and uncles twice. weird.

i have to clean for the party in case it moves here after d&b for some swimming and cake. i hope it goes well and her friends come and have good time.

blue is back!! and clean!! i freaked out because there was literally nothing in all of my junk storage spots like the door pocket and center console but then i found it in a bag in my trunk. which is sort of nice because it forces me to go through all my crap. and i threw out most of it, filed some of it and the rest goes back in the car. which really wasnt a whole lot. ahhh, to have air conditioning..

but i feel like a bad mom. so readily deserting green and driving off in blue. i had to leave green behind because i didnt have a second driver. we will go back on saturday for him but i still feel bad. green has always been so good to me. some day, greens day will come. and he will be like a new car.

on a totally different note, jose's girlfriend is finally having her baby. as we speak. it is about time. only a week and a half late. i think they induced her.

time to do my hair and get ready for work. i have to 1) drop julian off at the playground 2) get monica from school 3) take her to rudys and 4) go to work hopefully no more than half an hour late.

snakes 2

i forwarded the pictures to a snake specialist to see if he can identify what kind of snakes they were. hopefully i will hear back that they were some harmless variety of (giant) garden snake. i am pretty sure they were harmless since they didnt seem to be too offended about being shoved off their spot.

finally. after a month and more phone calls back and forth and bull shit, finally, blue is coming home. after the over nighted check that arrived 4 days later in the regular mail and supplementals that were done by the insurance company but they never saw them and after listening to sarah boecks nasally voice for too much time, blue is coming home. she better look good. pictures to follow...

so i was just sitting here, painting my nails sparkley pink when i looked out on the porch and saw a huge snake. then i looked a bit closer and realized there were 2 huge snakes. EEEEEKKK!!! so i freaked out and called maintenance and they came snd got rid of them. i didnt want to hurt them but i didnt want to welcome them either!! just not what i was expecting to see on a monday afternoon. msybe they just wanted some sun. or to eat some birds....

stress

i have had a long week. i dont really care to elaborate too much but most of you know the story. now i/we have a long road ahead of us. i hope we are all strong enough to see it through to the end.

joe nichols. i think he knew more than he said when i saw him. i had that feeling from the time i left his office but now it is even stronger. i feel like i need to go back for him to elaborate. that wasn't why i was there last time so maybe thats why or maybe it was unclear what would happen. he said we would have some problems this spring and indirectly said this fall was going to be hard, too. i guess all we can do is wait and see what happens. i think i wll go back just to see what he can see. thats a lot of blood money. i guess thats what it is for, though.

too much shit.

green. again.

green has a newly installed manually operated cooling fan switch. it looks like it belongs there. nice work boyfriend. now for the test drive. i just hope i dont leave it on and kill the battery. it has a nice hmmmmmmmmmmmm that i havent heard in awhile. i hope this cures some of the radiator issues.

on a blue note-
the insurance lady called to apologize for the delay in getting the whole situation taen care of and she said she will be overnighting a check today or tomorrow after the supplemental is approved. finally. it has been a month. last time i had my car getting repaired it was 3 days. and that was worse damage than this one. sheesh

went to see x men tonight. it was pretty good especially since i dont usually watch that type of movie. lots of action, real loud. now i want to watch the others.